Rejected Business Cards

I wanted to make some business cards for myself. So I can hand them out to chicks so they could be all "woo, this guy is a professional!" and "maybe if I'm nice to him and/or fuck him, I will get some benefits!"

Here are some I decided not to go with.

1. A picture of a computer towering over a frightened old person, with me standing next to it with my arm around another computer. The caption? "When your computer makes your life miserable, I'm banging its wife."

2. Caracature of myself winking and doing a "thumbs up" next to my face. Caption: "I will rip you off the least."

3. Frightened dark figure in a white spotlight. Rest of the card dark except for white lettering. "I will teach you how to pirate. Anything."

4. Whip thrown over my shoulder, wearing a Zoro mask and the Batman uniform to give me nice plasti-form muscles. Holding a length of blood red rope taught at arms length away from me. Caption: "YOU LACK DISCIPLINE!"