Histoly

Up to maybe two years ago, here was my vicious cycle with women.

1. Introduction. Somehow, in some way, I meet someone. Usually though no gesture on my own. I'm slow to open up to just about everyone. I hardly ever break the ice, and if I do, it's probably chemically induced.
Although, to be fair, I've given up alcohol for a while. Last drops were, um, three weeks ago? Sounds about right.

2. Infatuation. I am a loyal guy. I'd never turn a back on a friend, except one that betrays me (*ahem ahem little miss now-a-raver-girl*). So, it only goes to follow that if I like someone, I'm going to completely envelop myself in that emotion. You could say I let myself fall in love much like one would put the cart out before they got a horse.

3. Interrogation. I would ask her out, or ask some related question. The length of time between part 2 and part 3 depends on whether she's got a boyfriend or not. I would try my best to woo.

3.5. Rejection. I become grounded. It's a damn good thing I never thought I was God's gift to women because then the ego-drop would kill me. But it's not a nice feeling regardless.

4. Massochism. Since I like them, I'm not going to stop being their friend just like that. Instead I continue to be a loyal guy and harbor a little broken heart. Where it festers, rots, and eventually disappears, but not without leaving a big black cynicism causing stain. This process is usually sped up with certain conditions. My favorite of which: "I'm not looking for a boyfriend right now." "Oh. I see." (two days later) "Have you met Mark? My new boyfriend?" "Can't say that I have..."

The interesting thing is that this cycle never was interrupted by girlfriend-dom. I called it step 3.5 for a reason. Anyone I was ever with, our relationship always followed a different path. It doesn't fare well for me and my secret-to-her crush.

So, I stopped two years ago? Yeah, I thought I did. But it was just a dismissal of the game. Waste of time. I don't need the grief.

Well, evidently I DO need the grief. And if there was ever a time I need girl advice, it's now.

Don't worry, I'll ruin this pretty soon. Then I'll be all back to normal.

...

Vultures.