White Chocolate and Uncle Sam

The following individuals have recieved white chocolate from me yesterday.

End of list. I'm not upset, see, and someone did send me a note, even if it wasn't very personalized.

That's ok. I still love everyone. No, wait, I don't. I'm actually a monster incapable of love. Yes, that is rather untrue, now isn't it? That just goes to show. Oh well. Someone's gotta dig the lumberjack look I'm sporting these days.

I've got black hair, right? So... why is my beard coming in brown? Am I all of a sudden going to start being asked if the carpet matches the curtains? The answer, of course, will depend on who is asking. Some people asking I will call "gay" and throw things at. The others I will invite to find out, although it'll be a trick.

Bzzzzz.....

I did my taxes today. Right now. Just now. I owe money to the government. Which is GOOD. That means they didn't take enough out of my paycheck, meaning I got to hold on to more of my money and put it in the bank where it earned me interest. Ha ha ha, suckers! If you get a tax refund, I'm sorry to say you've been shafted: you gave an interest-free loan to the government. And did it earn your trust?

$195 MILLION dollars Miami-Dade county handed over to the Marlins to build a new stadium we don't need to pacify them and coax them into staying. What babies. "Wah wah, I'm leaving if you don't give me money and build me a stadium!" And what do the commissioners do? "Oh, please don't go!" They say it'll create a bunch of jobs but it really won't do that much good. The stadium construction teams are temporary jobs: when the project is over they leave and the pay stops. Creation of new jobs? Well, now the Marlins play at Pro Player, right? What's going to happen to that stadium if the Marlins play at the new one? Exactly, people aren't going to have jobs there. If you lose 2000 jobs to make 2000 jobs somewhere else, have you really gained anything?

Police SHOT a mentally ill guy today. They were called out to control him and they shot him in the head. Doesn't every cop have a friggin' tazer on them now? Don't get me started on tazers. The problem with non-lethal weapons is that the authorities can use them for any willy nilly. You can't shoot someone for no reason. But you CAN tazer them if you feel like it. People getting zapped all over the place. Wasn't the point of the 2nd amendment being able to defend yourself against an oppressive militaristic government? Ever see THX 1138? You should.

Congress voted almost unanimously (like one guy held out) to raise FCC fines to $500,000 per indecensy offense. And the talent is vulnerable to fines directly, not just the company. The catch? "What is indecent?" "Why, we don't know until it happens and someone complains so we can investigate." Fuck you, FCC. Just shut the fuck up and do your fucking job making sure nobody fights over the frequencies at which wireless communications devices work: what you were CREATED to do in the first place, not play nanny. For contrast, the maximum fine for dumping nuclear waste into the ocean is $25,000 per offense. You can take at least 20 trips out to Gilligan's Isle filled to the brim with spent plutonium and kick it off into the reefs to equal the fine for saying "shit" on the radio, assuming you were even caught every time.

Gay marriage is back. Now, I think gay marriage is cool: homosexuals deserve to be trapped in loveless sham marriages and heart wrenching divorces and prenumptual agreements and all that, if they want. Marriage don't seem like such a peachy-keen thing, does it? BUT right now in San Francisco some judge is saying it's unconstitutional to deny marriage to homosexuals. Say what? I just did a text search on my copy of the constitution (what, you don't have one?) and marriage ain't there. So it can't be unconstitutional. Banning gay marriage IS WRONG, mind you. So what needs to be done? Lets get some fucking courage up there in DC and make an amendment to the constitution which will THEN make it unconstitutional to ban gay marriage. You can't just sit there behind a bench and say "ahhh.... I think such-and-such should be legal". Nah. To quote Sublime: "It's the wrong way."

My congressman isn't getting white chocolate either. No love, no love.

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