Um, Joy, and Junk.

Things are going so-so for me. Professionally, my life has become top-notch. I got a bonus this paycheck... not sure what for... but the boss said he would give a permanent raise if they had the money, but for now enjoy the fat of the land as it may not be here tomorrow.

In other words, don't budget for having extra cash-ish in your pocket. Go and blow it on hookers and blackjack while you can. What a guy!

And I've decided that I'm going to get that iPod nano. It's gorgeous. I've got enough points with my credit card to get one for free (after 4-6 weeks, naturally). I wasn't going to because then I'd want the docking station. And then non-trendy headphones so that nobody would know I've got a trendy iPod. And then a case because evidently it gets scratched as fuck just by looking at it. But, ah, what the hell. Hookers and blackjack, right? Lust lust lust lust lust lust lust. Fuckers. Fuck you Apple... I never wanted an iPod but now I fucking do. Figured my temptation will come in the form of an apple. Just call me Adam. Adam West. "I AM BATMAN!"

*wiggle wiggle*

And it's my 100th post! Hooray! Throw panties at me!

I've been slacking on the sermons, but one guy, Ken, posted something on http://grouphug.us/ :

Ken's tips to get more confidence:
1. Stop smoking pot. The longer you wait, the harder it gets.
2. You don't have a small penis. The average is 5 inch. If you do have a small one, get over it. Unless you are a teenager, it won't grow anymore.
3. Don't keep postponing things. You might be dead tomorrow.
4. You're not less than ANYONE else. The ones who think they are more than you are stupid. Pity those people.
5. Put your problems in perspective. There's always something worse that could happpen to you. If possible, keep smiling.
6. You're not judged by the things you go through, but by the way you handle those things.
7. Try to help people who need it.
8. Learn from your mistakes.
9. You don't have to be the best. It's the effort that counts.
10. Get up early. Sleep, but not too much. You'll have the chance when you're dead.
11. Feeling different is normal. You are unique, by consequence different too, just like the rest of us.
12. Good news. Only if you're in the deepest possible shit, things can only get better.
13. Life is not always easy. Get used to it.
14. Make decissions, wise ones. Think, but don't hesitate.
15. ALWAYS be yourself.

How true that is...

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Master of the Universe

Work? I'm a beast, man. A total beast. I've been revised from Programmer to Software Engineer.

It's a lateral change in my job, meaning no additional money... but thankfully no additional hours, and that which I gain in responsibilities is offset by what I lose in responsibilities. I get to design the HOW all future projects should be implemented. I love small companies... I'm practically CTO at this point. Not really, because my networking knowledge is still pretty lacking.

Programming? I'll still do it. Only now I get a lot more freedom of how I program. There are lots of different ways to do the same thing, see. Many ways to tie a knot.

But, these decisions made greatly influence the future. If you build a house on a crappy foundation, it won't necessarily crumble, but a better foundation will give the house room to grow. You can charge the same amount for the upgrades later, but take less labor and hassle to do it... higher profits. That's step 3.

So, yeah, I feel pretty good. I get to say: "This is the way it's supposed to get done, fuckers."

Oops. I'm a holy man.

"This is the way it's supposed to get done, sinners."

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Hiding

Yeah, yeah, I'm hiding something.

I'm on a bit of a quest, you see. A holy crusade, if you will (but I won't).

Now that Linda won't talk to me anymore because I've evidently outlived my usefulness, I'll make my bold generalization. My sex life consists of female scientists, and myself being a culture sample.

You know, the culture sample that sits in a petri dish. Doing whatever it is that culture samples do. Hover around this corner of the gelatin, enjoy the warm glow of the sun lamp, spawning a bunch of offspring. SURE the culture wants to break out of the dish, make things happen, mix things up and junk. But, soon enough, it realizes that it's just a culture sample and it just can't do it alone.

And here comes Ms. Scientist. "Hmmm," she thinks, "this is a fairly interesting culture. Havn't seen anything like it before. I enjoy it, it's entertaining, in its gelatin hovering, sunning itself, trying to change its own dynamic." (At this point, for some reason, I've got a mental image of that female scientist from Rampage World Tour, but that's beside the point.) "But, lets see... I'm curious to see what'll happen if I..."

And then Ms. Scientist puts a straw in the petri dish. All of a sudden, the culture sees freedom! It climbs the pipette, noticing an escape! An opportunity! It can't NOT do it!

Then I infect her. She discovers a new use for this culture. She'll even become selfish and want to keep the culture for herself... but it's ok... the culture has the time of its life. Or at least it's ok for a little while.

The problem? The culture has nothing to do with its new functionality. It just gets swept up with the fancy of the scientists and if it demands to be seen, heard, made legitimate, it removes itself from the infection. It crawls back to the petri dish... because it may not be exciting, but, damnit, in there, the culture's in the driver's seat.

I WILL gain control. I'm tired of relying on luck. It goes against everything I believe in. Hard work brings great things... most of the time. My week having the place to myself is coming to a close soon. I feel so defeated.

...

HOORAY CONFUSING ANALOGIES!

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Slacker!

Yeah, I've been slacking.

...

Not much has been going on. Really. Honest.

...

Did you know there are like four people in South Beach that are fat? Well, it was five, but I don't have to work there anymore.

...

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Celibacy & ... umm... yourself.

Actually, I have Su's roommate to thank for this question, evidently.

See, brothers and sisters, I believe all that is required for harmony and happiness is honesty and alignment. See, both people firmly believe in celibacy, then, hey, cool, good for them, I hope they're really happy... in a blue-ball pent-up seven-year-itch kind of way.

Problems only happen when people deceive. He's not ok with it, but "it's only a matter of time". She wants it, but she'll cave to keep him happy so he won't leave her. This also includes the REASON. Neither are ok with it, but their religions command it.

Now, as a minister, I've got a line to tow. Maybe. I've got nothing against religion, but I do have something against edicts.

I believe God has given us everything we need to survive. We have opposing thumbs. We have minds. We can speak. Our brains can grasp language and literacy. Human knowledge and society is build upon the shoulders of others. It is part of the design.

If you two kids are gonna be celibate, make it for the right reasons. If you wanna keep it special? Sure. Want to avoid the OMG-heart-attack-stroke-we-are-so-dead feeling of pregnancy? Sure (we use birth control full and well aware that it will never be 100%). Whatever other wacky zany reasons? Hey, go nuts. Just be honest with yourself and each other.

Now, that's not so say that if you go all out you have an out when responsibility comes running up to kick you in the shin. Don't come crying to God when OH NOS!!!11 I GOT TEH AIDS!11eleven!! because you felt it was necessary to sleep around and cheat and do it all unprotected. (Hell, don't complain when you get something minor like crabs... even with minor things you get secretly put on a Center for Disease Control list of "STD carriers". It's true. I know it. I saw it. I always told you I know more than I let on.) Don't come crying to God when you get kicked out of your house for bein' a pregnoid.

God gave us the power to choose our paths, and if we act boldly to blaze our path, one must do so knowing all of the potential reprocussions. Yes, bad things happen to good people. And God didn't "let" it happen. You invited it by taking your responsibility and decision relevance lightly.

So I have homework for all of you. Write down the reason why you choose to be celibate, or the reason you choose not to. No less than 500 words. Elaborate. Feels real good? Ok, then, write about that. Celibate because nobody'll fuck you? Well, ok, that's pretty fucking honest there, bucko. Turn them all in to me. They're due on Friday.

...

(the hottest one gets a personal "healing" from Rev. Manx himself!)

Celibacy & You!

"Shouldn't you be, like, preaching celibacy and stuff?"

Interesting... cell... celli-what?

Ok ok ok. 100 points to those who already know how I'm going to answer this.

Seriously.

Post a comment. You'll win 50 points from me, and God will match that and offer 50 points also.

God's cool like that.

Google Ads

I made a total of $0.17 with those ads. YEEEE-HAW!

But it wasn't for money, you see. It was for what it would select for MY ads. Currently the selections are becoming an ordaned minister and alcohol. Hmmm... sounds about right with the context.

...

In the meantime, here's a first.

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I've nothing to say.

Writers' block, now literally nothing interesting to talk about. This is no good.

...

Boobs.

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Bottom to the Bottomless

I closed another month and realized, oh, shiznit, I'm poor!

I went to AFO early this month and I really shouldn't have gone. Yeah, Su split everything with me, but she paid back in cash. Problem with cash? If it's cash, and it's in my pocket, I'll eventually spend it.

Especially at strip clubs.

So here's my moratorium: no more. I need to quintuple my reserves before I even THINK about going back.

And I wondered why I didn't have to go to an ATM to get a few lap dances last two times.

So that's what The Devil card in my tarot readings were alluding to. You know, temptation, choosing the wrong thing even though you shouldn't. Not to say that it's BAD what I've been doing, just that it's bad when you can't afford it.

Alcohol is expensive, too. I really should drink up my reserves. But, alas, I'm a bad bartender it seems. At least right now without the right equipment. I'm NOT going to go out and buy this equipment, so...

Anyone like their Banana Rum straight up? *raise hand*

Still no internet at home. Doing this from work. It's irritating at this time. I can't get any help because every call I make to tech support starts going into "Oh, well, make sure the computer is plugged in..."

I can't just say, "Hey, I can't connect to the PPPoE server." They'd respond: "What's a server?" I'd answer, then they'd ask "What's a PPPoE?". I'd answer, then they'd ask "What's a 'hey'?"

Hay, as we all know, is for whoreses.

I'm fine, though, I've got emergency cash reserves that I'll probably tap and get in my account so none of my checks bounce. And I've got a grand or two winking away in a dedicated savings account. I really don't want to pull THAT since it's earning interest.

Perhaps I should also mention I lost a lot of cash in the market last month. Not a big deal, since you don't invest with anything other than "risk capital". But it still hurts to know it isn't there. I, being a young guy, invest in agressive stocks and ignored things like, oh, I don't know... OIL. Ah, well, hindsight is 20/20.

In other news, Diana did buy me a lap dance last time I was there. So that's $25 saved. Y