Oooh, look at that paint dry!

Damnit, I'm bored. I don't feel like doing anything, but I'm bored.

I bought myself some unmentionables today. It's the first time I've ever done so. Normally family gives some to me for Christmas. I guess the days of handouts are over. That's the price one pays being the black sheep of the family, evidently.

So I got these UBER comfortable boxers and they feel totally amazing. Amazing. They feel. On my JUNK. My COCK AND BALLS. My Coca Cola and Limes. They rock completely. Except for one, small, INCREDIBLY LARGE problem.

Button. There's a button on the fly. Call me old fashioned, but, for underwear, there shouldn't BE any buttons. No zippers, no buttons, no velcro, no fasteners of any kind. After all, I'm such a stud I may need to break out the old ICBM at a moment's notice. OMG! WAS THAT THE RED BUTTON!! Whew... just a false alarm. Global thermonuclear war is nothing to be trifled with.

"What are you talking about again?"

Bah. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. Wearing the most comfortable boxers known to man.

Year: In Review

Well, it's been an odd year, all things considered.

Started out with my unemployed ass plotting the heist of the century to become a multi-billionaire and hold countries hostage and fulfill my evil plans, wound up working the same job I was doing at where I was doing it before I was fired except for more money.

Then I allowed myself to get sucked in (not literally, much to the disappointment of all the children in Rwanda (it's true, they told me)) to being used by a traitorous girl for a bunch of time. Even finding a "plaything" who was lying to me to use me (which, in 20/20 hindsight, was a much better deal that being used in a non-sexual manner) wasn't enough to wrest the grip from me.

And then there was... well... there wasn't much else.

Bah. It's been a dull year.

I miss you all. Except for Timothy*, who smells like an elephant's ass.**

* Timothy does not really exist***.
** I do not really know what an elephant's ass**** smells like.
*** I think, therefore I am. Or, really, I think I think, therefore I think I am.
**** My association with the smell of asses that are not elephant asses are completely unintentional.

Damnit, IE

Internet Explorer sucks donkey dong. Sometimes it works and displays pages correctly, sometimes not. ARG!

I'm working on something super secret. For B.W.A.I.N. It's coming out of nowhere, you'll never see it coming. In fact, all I'll tell you about it is: it has nothing to do with Dinosaurs.

Turns out I got a cold for Christmas. Cherry Mristmas, Anne and Oll!

Yeah, I did it. And if given the chance I'd do it again.

It was only a matter of time before I started doing some.

 > Link < 

Some things one cannot unsee

I don't know which did more irreperable damage to me, watching a video of a pig getting shot in the head and then his head chopped off with a chainsaw (lots more blood than I expected, and kept twitching a lot longer than I would have guessed)

OR

Searching online for people's names, running across Lisa's, and viewing the picture. She hasn't changed one bit. Short thing, ratty curly hair slicked backwards, oily freckled pale skin, tatterred thin flannel-print dress hanging too way too low on her hips, exposed bellybutton, Mona Lisa anti-smile, looking directly into the flash to intentionally create red eye.

For both visages I am both repulsed and intrigued. It's strange how these sorts of things work.

I can't really relate to the pig, other than being one on occasion. That pig slaughter had no redeeming qualities to it.

She, on the other hand...

I propose a theory. The theory is that one of the major benefits to girlfriends is that, when properly applied to one's life, do not permit visions or memories of past girlfriends to pollute my psyche. Of course, they would just wind up as ex's themselves, so... I guess one can never win.

Go Big N

I'll admit the N64 and GB-Pokemon years of Nintendo didn't excite me at all. Even the GameCube left me a little, what's the word, thirsty. (Mario Sunshine LOLerskates HAR HAR HAR HAR!!!1111)

I absolutely LOVE DS touch screen and (almost) seamless WiFi. I think I'm going to LOVE the Revolution. The unique input is going to lead to a bunch of unique Nintendo-only games. While, versus PS3 and XBox360 I don't think the Revolution will come out on top, at least since the games really are unique that means every household will have "room for revolution." The lower cost of the system means while most homes will have to choose between The MicroBorg and The RootKit Company due to cost (and maybe ethics), hopefully Revolution could get good market permiation, leading to companies actually wanting to make "renegade games" for this market.

Hopefully by next year that'll mean that not 17 out of 18 new titles released will be a sequel of another game. I crave something unique. I've actually got something unique in my head. I just need the time (and the drive) to make it happen.

 > Link < 

Long time

I havn't done this in a long time. My tarot reading! The first one in a long time that doesn't suggest anything having to do with women.

...

Umm...

...

(I'm so horny right now that, if I actually had sex right now, my orgasm would burst through the condom and burn a tunnel out the middle of her back)

how you feel about yourself now (Justice)
You are feeling that things will go your way, you believe in fairness and justice in all things. If you are considering partnership issues, personal or professional, dealings will go well. Perhaps you are about to sign a contract or legal document, this will be beneficial to you. If someone has done wrong to you it will be put right and you will feel justice has been done.

what you most want at this moment (The Chariot)
The cards suggest Erik, that what you most want at this time is success, to win and not give up the fight. You are successful and assertive in most things, or if you haven’t quite got the success you want, you will get it. This is a time of movement and change - expect a journey relating to work, or if you want that car you’ve been looking at, go get it.

your fears (The Hierophant)
Are you really your best counsel? Probably not at this moment in time. You are worried that you will sell yourself short and agree to something that you don’t feel morally comfortable with. For example you may really desire marriage but the offer has been ‘let’s live together’. You may be looking at a job or business opportunity but you question how ethical it is. Seek out an advisor you can trust such as a teacher, priest, parent or anyone you have respect for. They will be happy to help.

what is going for you (The High Priestess)
All lines are open in your telephone exchange with your intuition, and there is no better guide than your intuition. Listen, listen carefully and the secret you want revealed will be shared with you.

what is going against you (Strength)
Your negativity and lack of self control are your real enemies. If you are finding certain addictions in your life are taking a hold, be it smoking or drinking for example, look inward for you hearts true strength and self-belief. Change your attitude and be positive and you will reap great rewards.

outcome (The Hermit)
This is a time for you to be alone or may herald a time of loneliness. Take this time for quiet introspection and rest. Don’t worry you will find the answers, but the Hermit signals a warning not to make hasty decisions. If you have been unwell this is a time for rest and recuperation.

:O

No Shit

I could bore you with a bunch of health details. But I won't.

I could tell you that I actually used the phrase:
"That's so BULLSHIT that if shit could shit that would be the shit of bullshit." But I'll keep the pure joy to a minimum.

I could inform you that I'm being sued (!!!) by the dude I was freelancing for not finishing the project. Um, I couldn't finish it because you didn't give me all the stuff I needed to WORK. And how I need to hire a good lawyer that's also cheap and can countersue for his pay because I just can't afford law right now. But, I think I just did. Hmm...

Instead, I'll teach you a little math.



There, that was easy. But I still can't find Waldo.

Howl's Moving Castle, Manx's Moving Trailer Home

What an interesting movie! I figured Princess Mononoke wasn't fucked up enough, Sprited Away was too fucked up. This one is right smack in the middle.

Too much man-ass though. I cannot tolerate a ratio of bare female breasts to man-ass less than 3, and this ratio was 0, meaning no boobies in exchange for crack.

But aside from the clearly important things in life, it's a terribly cool movie. I so want a demon of my own. Don't worry, I'd be a nice guy. I'd only use this demon to, you know, put less man-ass in movies.

Surely you must be in favor of that?

In other news, it's worth noting Diana has not made any attempt to contact me. Last contact I made was a week ago giving her a text message on my health status.* And, well, that was it. I did it in response to a text message she sent me earlier with one of our one-word inside jokes. After that, nothing. Hm. I guess that's that. Now there isn't any doubt that I was being used. Too bad. I'm a loyal guy.

* Healthwise, the best way to describe it is "stable". Although, the dirty little secret that hospital TV shoes don't want you to know is that "stable" doesn't describe what one's condition is, only what that condition is doing. "Stable" when the patient is terminal means, man, this cat ain't gettin' any better. Thing is, my condition isn't getting WORSE (as far as I know, I get a gas chomatograph Thursday morning from blood they take tomorrow morning to confirm the chemical makeup, although I know for a fact my blood pressure hasn't been increasing). My liver results (from a more conventional blood test) are back from the medication I started taking and it's not causing any damage, which is good at least. My condition is predicted to get worse progressively until I have a stroke or just die in my sleep. But, it isn't getting worse. On the alternative side, I'm not getting "BETTER". It's just a time to sit and see how things go.

I've been careful to NOT take too much care of myself, at least for the past two weeks. I havn't been going crazy, but I've been living like normal. If I'll get better being REALLY REALLY GOOD, I'll only revert back when I go back to normal, which is a lovely mix of naughty and nice. Which explains my weight. I was really good and active and stuff and lost a ton of weight. Then I went back to normal and gained it all back. If I can't be normal and sustain, I won't sustain. I gotsta be me. So, if I could live like a boring guy and live forever, is it really worth it?

The thing to take from this is that things aren't really changing with me healthwise. And since right now, RIGHT NOW, I'm sitting, breathing, typing, holding my forehead to prevent a giant horn growth from popping out. That's healthy enough. I'm fine with it. And if I'm not dead NOW, I won't be unless things get worse. Right now, I'll take things not getting worse over things getting better if it means I get to be a normal d00d.

We'll see how this goes.

Exposed!

Did Su really have to see me trying to flirt?

She didn't say anything about it. I think she didn't notice. She didn't encourage me. Yeah, cause the girl I was working doesn't like me. Naturally. So, in that point of view, encouragement is NOT what I need.

Then again, maybe it was because I wasn't doing a very good job of it. In that case, thanks, sempai, for not drawing attention to my failures.

Ah, she's jailbate anyway. 17. Legal in like 9 months. I don't need another reason why the cops are after me.