Backtrack

Now that 75% of everything I own is in a closet in the middle of nowhere just waiting for a flood to come by and melt everything, NOW is when I'm told I'm welcome to stay and will have concessions made.

Fuckers. It's bullshit. I bust my hump to offload my things, pay cash money and deposit for this shack in the middle of nowhere, sweat my HEALTH and my SANITY about getting kicked out? Had to endure 5 solid days of headache-inducing artificial vanilla scent to be FUMIGATED like a VERMIN? And now you're extending an olive branch? Well that olive branch has a lot of shit stuck to it.

PHUCK EWE.

You guys are lucky I don't fucking set fire to the place on my way out. I do NOT take kindly to being colored. I'm doing what I gotta do because I'm not going to endure this jailcell any longer. Don't color me like I'M being irrational when it was YOU who was completely irrational.

Bubbles in my Martini

(this conversation is paraphrased, and the stage direction simplified to point out the important things)

Mike: Wow, I want to try that drink you've got.
Me: Oh yeah?
Mike: Yeah, I never tried it before.
Me: You're telling me you've never had alcohol before?
Mike: I have, but not THAT.
Me: *thinks* Have some of my pizza instead. It's huge.
Mike: I'm on a diet. *has a set next to me*
Me: *continues thinking... ooh, a bunny!* *looks across the table at Su*
Mike: I really wanna try it.
Me: *slides glass outwards towards him* Try it.
Mike: The manager can't see me.
Su: Are you off duty?
Mike: Yeah.
Su: So try it.
Mike: I'm underage.
Su: Just go quick.
Mike: *watches for the manager to turn away and quickly sips*
Me: Well?
Mike: I like my drinks sweet.
Me: *smirks*
Mike: Now can I have some of that? *points towards pizza*
Me: Oh, NOW you ask.
Mike: *touches my arm* Oh, you're so nice.
Me: *cuts piece off and he grabs it and runs off*
Me: He's gay, right?
Su: Uh, YEAH.
Me: Ok.
Su: I've never seen him like that. I thought you were gonna throw up.

...

Um, hooray?

...

I mean, come on, a vodka martini has to be the complete OPPOSITE of a girl drink. Don't get me wrong, I like girly drinks because they taste pretty good, but at that moment I wanted something manly. There's no confusing it.

It's God's way of poking fun at me, I guess. Going, "Shuddap, Manx, you NEED to be single right now. It's part of my plan. LOL. *wink*"

Hmmm... would He actually SAY "wink"?

In the meantime, check out this kiddie porn!
OMG Kiddie Porn

Over and Under

You know, I'm not really good at estimation. I thought I was half done packing, but I've got a LOT more to go. A bookshelf still full of books, still lots of videos, still lots of DVDs, more CDs and cakeboxes than I care to think about, more drawers filled with memories, a closet full of clothes I barely fit into (but will someday), gifts I've forgotten to give to people, appliances, more computer stuff (STILL), papers, lock boxes, soldering tools, porn, figurines, instruction manuals, tools, textbooks...

I'm thinking I'm not going to have enough room in storage. I suppose it's better than overestimating and overpaying, since thankfully nobody's going to change the locks here when I leave (because my father will hopefully keep that from happening), but it's going to make things a little more complicated for me.

I rushed home today thinking I was going to be 3/4 done, but I'm not even close. In fact, I started to pack and ran out of packing tape.

...

And so, I present these.
Google won't obey subpoena, so I use...
Japanese Dance Party ^_^

Overgrowth

Ah, it would seem my Torrenting days are soon coming to an end.

Now I pay for internet around here. But someone saw fit to have the DSL changed. There are three types of DSL: Lite, Regular, and something else. I don't know. Super Street Fighter 2 DSL?

So while I continue to pay $55/mo for internet, only about $30 is going to DSL and the other $25 is GETTING POCKETED!

You have no idea how angry I am. I'm not sure when the switch happened because I havn't torrented in a long time. But now I download at 786Kb/s (as opposed to 1.5Mb/s as before), and upload at 128Kb/s (as opposed to 256Kb/s).

All this coming while my brother becomes a myspace and chat addict. Yeah, he got a REALLY cute girlfriend (er, nothing steady, but they're staging) out of it (who rocks my socks: video games and internet "culture" and tight jeans and a friggin' brain. I very much approve), but we're both competing for now diminished resources.

Halfing download isn't that big a deal. Downloading at like 90 KB/s from web sites is fine for surfing, and I don't really notice it downloading because a lot of times servers are slower than that because they have load control and transfer throttling, you know, the things servers need to have. BUT uploading at 15 KB/s is a hassle. I just downloaded typical BitTorrent payload: 1.4 GB. It was done sometime overnight or through that first day. I'm still uploading, trying to fix my ratio. Uploaded: 960 MB for three days. It's no longer really efficient for me to download without fucking up my ratio.

Ah, I just wanted to complain.

But my own family has been stealing from me. There's anger and just abject sadness. It's just really really sad that these are the ways they think of me. I'm gonna wind up disowned.

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E3

As an industry professional (lol), I got an E3 invite. It wouldn't be free to go, but at least I'd be ALLOWED to go. Represent. East Side! *makes finger gestures*

But... there's one less reason to go.

ESA to fine exhibitors for using booth babes at E3

Shucks.

But I'm never too busy for...

No, seriously, I've got a problem.

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Spoke too soon

I'm getting kicked out. I have less than a month.

Call me old fashioned, but if I'm paying RENT to live at home, if I don't get meals cooked for me, if I don't get my laundry done, if I don't get my bathroom cleaned, if I can't fix or maintain my car here, if I don't have any say in where I park, if I have to be available at a whim to let workers into our home...

Basically, if I have no rights or privilages, I shouldn't have to do anything. I'm a busy guy: I've got a lot of projects I'm juggling at any given time.

Current Projects:
1) Catalog my discs. I have over 1300 cds and dvds. I don't always remember what I have and what I don't. I actually rented a movie I already have because I didn't remember. Obviously I have a problem. I need to document all my digital media. And I need to categorize them so I can actually find something instead of just a list. Anime, Hentai, Movies, Appz, Gamez, Old Drivers (for old machines and in case an upgrade fucks things up), Porn, etc.

2) Convert DVDs to MPEG-4. Compressing my large collection of raw DVDs to smaller and more managable video files helps out. It's a space thing. For example, I can put 3 Pia Carrot DVDs on ONE CD without a noticeable loss of quality (because I got a powerful CPU and do a lot of playback post-processing... hey, I don't consider it cheating). I could do the same with some other movies and anime and put maybe a complete series in MPEG-4, complete with english/japanese audio, selectable subtitles, extras, all the bells and whistles, onto ONE 4.5GB DVD. That's spacing savings. The originals? Give them away, store them someplace safe, who knows. Plus it's time savings. I hate having to open my DVD player 8 times if I want to watch the entire TV series of Neon Genesis Evangelion.

3) Catalog my Magic cards. I've got over 6000 cards as part of Magic the Gathering. I had them all well documented and lost the data files with a hard drive crash a few years ago. I need to start over. Cataloging just one box (240 cards, although I think I cram about 260-270 because it's pretty tight) takes about 4 hours.

4) Inventory and clean my computer parts. I've got no fewer than 7 motherboards, 8 CPUs, and a clusterfuck of screws and parts and pieces. I need to know what I have and what I can do without. I don't get rid of a lot of stuff because it's still USEFUL. I'm thinking about converting my notebook computer (the one with a broken screen) to a media player and hook it directly up to a TV. It's a good idea, but I need some parts. Cables. Distribution boxes. Switch boxes. Pretty little lights and speakers to go "boop". This also relates to my MPEG4 conversion project.

5) Developing my site. I did some freelance stuff that didn't really pan out. But if I did everything myself, from design to implementation to installation, I could make sure things get done. If I want to do that, and maybe even work for myself, I need to establish myself NOW. I need to clean up my web site and put information there to sell myself. This includes side projects that aren't obviously work related at first glance. I want to make a checkers game for BWAIN and while at first that may seem extra-curricular, it's because it is experience AND a saleable device AND something I can say "look, punks, I did this."

6) Play games. I call this a priority because it helps me tap into the community consciousness of the world around me. I take enjoyment out of these things and it keeps me pleased with life. Take that away from me and you take away something fundamental to my being and self-worth.

7) Get laid. I like getting action: I'd like to get more of it if I can. And do so ethically. That's important to me. I have to meet people, talk it up, be close, things like that. I also like having friends and feeling valuable. Ok, it's a reach to lump sex with feeling valuable, but it's just because I'm blogging in a stream of consciousness and if you don't like it, well, I don't know what to tell you.

8) Read stuff. I need to be up to date on technology. I need to be up to date on what's coming down the pike. I need to know what's heading my way and what I have to do to prepare for it. I need to prepare because it's my job to know things. Vista's coming out. I need to know what makes programming for it different than for XP than for 2000 than for Me. For example, PC's are moving away from BIOS towards EFI in the next 9 - 12 months. A few computers already exist without BIOS. What does that mean to you? Probably nothing. Consider yourself lucky.

9) Scanning. I bought a scanner 3 years ago with the express purpose of scanning all my magazines and important documents so I can get rid of the originals. I've got boxes of Nintendo Powers. "Just throw them away?" NO! It's historical. Archival. I can't do that. At least not until I scan them. Maybe I've got a complex that I fear I'll need something right after I throw it away.

10) Miscellaneous. I can't burn anything onto my GBA flash cards because I fucked up my drivers. I need to clean out the drivers and find these old drivers and install them. I need to do this in a way that I don't fuck anything else up. It doesn't help that this quasi-legal companies are always on the run and finding drivers, let alone support, is next to impossible.

11) WORK. I need to get paid. I can't become complacent.

Obviously with all these things going on I can't worry about keeping my projects inobtrusive. I've got piles of CDs here. I've got piles of cards there. I've got games partially out. I have papers of notes and sketches and algorithms and stuff and they're around. I can't hide them because then it'd take more time to take it out and put it away when I'm done than time I could devote to actually getting something done.

It will cost me about $3000 to move due to the condition of my existing furniture (which is shit), not including first month and deposits and application fees and whatever bullshit I have to do to prove I'm not Al Qaida. A place in Miami isn't going to be cheaper than $750, and that's for a rat trap. So I'm looking at having $5000 on the ready. Less than 16 days. Yeah, I make money, but a lot of that money is spoken for. I just had to pay my auto insurance this month. $1000: see ya. And I need to find out how to do this stuff while not dipping into my long term savings because I'd like to have something left over in case I DIE after all.

Yeah, you could say I'm a little stressed. I feel better venting here, though.

I Clearly Have a Problem

Making YTMND sites is ADDICTIVE!!!

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Since you've been gone

Since you've been gone
Well, I feel like I've been chewing on tinfoil
Since you've been gone
It's like I got a great big mouthful of cod liver oil
Oh well, I'm feelin' like I stuck my hand
Inside a blender and turned it on
You know, I've been in a buttload of pain
Since you've been gone
(Since you've been gone)
I couldn't feel any worse if you dropped
A two-ton bowling ball on my toes
(Since you've been gone)
It couldn't hurt anymore if you shoved
A red-hot cactus up my nose

Since you've been gone
Well, it feels like I'm getting tetanus shots every day
Since you've been gone
It's like I've got an ice cream headache that won't go away
Ever since the day you left me
I've been so miserable, my dear
I feel almost as bad as I did
When you were still here


No, I don't really feel this way. My life is suprisingly devoid of drama right now.

...

Yep... LIFE: She is good, no?

(>^_^)>

Well *I* thought it was funny.

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Released.

Someone stopped by last night to say goodbye to me. I allowed it to happen and ignored some really good advice in allowing it.

But, yes, it was good. Real good. We talked for hours catching up. She said she envied me, how I can stay strong and to myself in the face of temptation the world over. (um... yeah... strong... ok...) She was referring to HER life, drugs, lack of responsibility, ruining people's lives for fun, being a traitor, etc. I was a little cryptic on my end of catching up. I didn't want to say too much. But she was happy just yammering on and on. She sure likes the sound of her own voice.

Thing is, because I spent so much time distancing myself emotionally from her, I realized I didn't miss her. Sure, it was nice to reconnect with the past, but only on a superficial level. Nothing too deep. It didn't bother me that I didn't have her heart. It didn't bother me what she did. It really didn't. It is what it is. Seeing her vulnerable, being vulnerable around her (sick and on my back), just seemed to remind me that drama is just that: DRAMA. People take some things too seriously. I took her too seriously as a friend then and felt betrayed when I tested it. I took the junk we did together too seriously and that left me emotionally hurt. She wasn't my best friend back then because she was the penultimate friend... she was just the only friend willing to make time for me. The only one who ever fought for me.

I went to high school at SAS. I transferred over, like all the other students, in 11th grade. That high school, at the time (probably still that way) could not grant high school diplomas. They transferred you back to your home school right before the end and you graduate from there. I felt no connection to Sunset. At all. She was the only holdover from that school. And middle school. And she fought the administrators that weren't going to let me go to grad night, those that weren't going to let me walk for graduation. I really didn't care. I would have preferred a mock ceremony with SAS: they were my home at that time. But she, Jenny (about time I spit out her name so you know who I'm talking about), made me care. She fought tooth and nail. And, yeah, that's a big thing... but I took that big thing and took it far too seriously than what it probably just was: an excuse to have another guy at her partying.

As we sat there, the strangerhood reduced. She touched my arms. We sat closer together. She layed back with me and stared at the ceiling and pretended they were stars. I told her not to because I'm sick, but she said it was worth it. I didn't take that more seriously than what it was. Face value, no more. And if there were any plots or plans in her head, I'd figure it out. I was always smarter than her. I figured she wanted some.

She might not have deserved it, but I did. I'm back to "can't really be picky" because, well, I can't. My latest infection (which turns out was misdiagnosed as mono... I said "ouch" when the doc squeezed where my spleen would be because I wasn't expecting such a hard prod) was a bit of a distraction from my overriding medical conundrum. I don't have a whole lot of time left. I don't exactly have my pick.

She didn't take it... I gave it to her. She did a lot of the work, naturally, since I'm sick and low on energy. And try she did. And I'm glad I did. I felt a big release.... like it was a physical manifestation of the emotional release of that baggage.

There's a bunch of ways physical release can result in emotional release. I'm not into cutting. I don't like having my hair cut, let alone doing it myself. Backpacking across Europe takes too much time. So, all things considered...

Curses! Foiled again!

The verdict is in. It's not strep throat. It's mono. 4 - 6 weeks ago I caught the virus and I get slammed with it on Su's birthday weekend.

"So, who'd you kiss 4 - 6 weeks ago?"

I didn't. T.T

BUT I did share my water bottle with Diana during a DDR escapade. Damnit, woman!

At least 98% of all adults 24 years or older have had it. That's a relief because I sure would like to kiss some people in the future. >.>

Flippers is Dead. Long Live The Flippers.

Nobody who goes regularly to Flippers is gonna wanna hear this. But I'm gonna say it. Balls to the walls in your face the Truth about why it failed and closed.

Blame on the other theater down the street is crap. For as long as I can remember, while there's been a Flippers, there's been a theater NEXT to it, and a rival theater less than 0.2 miles down the street. The fact that the theater is new doesn't really change anything, since AMC and Regal have different releases as dictated by the Movie Companies' distribution deals with both. Universal movies go here, Disney goes there, etc. etc. They've got upscale stores there... but, honestly, if the parents are going out to a nice dinner at Bahama Breeze, they're not dragging their teen children along, and probably not dropping them off at Chuck-E-Cheeze. All Regal really has to offer is movies and DDR... say, just like T&C, except Flippers has MORE games... so... why did it fail?

Flippers has started to suck for the past two years. It just has. I can point fingers at people, but I'll just wave my hands in their general directions. Let's just sit back for a moment. Back in the day there was one guy who worked there by the name of Brad. He had a daunting look to him, sure. Punk haircut, piercings, tattoos, all the stuff that makes mothers coddle their children. But he was friendly. He knew to walk around and cultivate the relationships with the customers. Now, I'm the sort of guy that if the staff knows me already I feel uncomfortable... I don't want to get labelled in their mind as The Creepy Guy or The Dude with the Hair or whatever. Normally I don't like being recognized because in any transaction or negotiation with the business: if it goes well, it's because they KNOW me and they're doing a pal-sy favor (which makes me feel uncomfortable because I'm getting special treatment, which I guess subconsciously makes me feel like they're trying to appease me because I'm a "problem customer"... which is exactly what I did to the problem customers in the jobs I had that required public contact), and if it goes badly, it's because they KNOW me and I'm a trouble maker not to be trusted, and I take things personally. Keeping the distance keeps it legit, keeps it from feeling personal, keeps it "business casual."

So if guys like Brad and the other people who used to work there could peg me as a regular and NOT make me feel uncomfortable, that was a Good Thing. It's because it's a not-too-shabby place to work. Nobody really hassles you as long as you're on your game. Fish out stuck tokens, keep the machines in working order, make change, keep the soda machine stocked, things like that. You don't get a medal for what you're supposed to do, but you can't get a medal if you don't do what you're supposed to.
I'm not saying this just because Juan reads here, either, but they let go the wrong people sometimes.

On the other hand, look at the last waking months of Flippers. 100% of the staff is sitting on the wall where they can mooch off the neighboring shops' WiFi, face buried in laptops. And when 100% of the staff isn't there, then 50% is there with the other 50% pumping free service credits into machines for their friends (who are all other regulars who would otherwise SPEND SOME MONEY THAT KEEPS THE PLACE AFLOAT) and playing Marvel vs. Capcom. They didn't wander around. They weren't approachable. I don't count in my dealings with them being a regular myself (although a pretty piss poor regular since it depends on who I think might be there), but they did nothing to cultivate NEW regulars. People came and went, opportunities came by and left.

Look at Brandon. I'm convinced that the only reason why he bugged his father to take him there was not only the play, but the people that he befriended. Non staff. Hell, the girls love him. Point is, I'd never seen any of the staff try to cultivate anything for his business. They were behaving, *gasp* like exclusive frat boys.

Sorry kids, but nerds can't play the frat boy game and come out the winner. For their complacency, for their lack of devotion and attention, for allowing Flippers and its equipment to fall into disrepair without concern for the business, for handing out freebies to those most likely to pay, they are now unemployed. Some cush job, huh?

THIS is WHY we can't have nice things.

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I'm a Pervert

Say, I think it's going to be a pretty good new year after all.

...

Yes, I can make a more perverted leering face, but if I make it then even animals will start running.

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