Tuesday, February 28, 2006

The Symptoms: Detailed.

No, not those. THESE. Look, It's been a month and a half since I've had sex. 6 more weeks to go. CHACHACHACHACHACHACHACHACHACHA etc.

I don't know if these are literal symptoms or if it's just in my head. Even if it is just in my head, that's real enough, right? Right? PLEASE TELL ME I'M NOT INSANE! *froths at the mouth*

1. Nervousness. Well, I do have something legitimate to be nervous about. My last "no reversals no do-overs" blood test happened yesterday. I have to wait a week until they run whatever insane test they use. This one's pretty much gonna tell whether there's no turning back, whether I've simply cut decades off my life, or whether my blood viscosity is seasonal or not. Gee, which one am I rooting for?

But aside from that, I just have a general jittery feeling. Like an excited feeling? NOT THAT KIND OF EXCITED. Like a giddy nervous excited feeling. Like there's a surprise waiting for you at home. As if I'm gonna come home to suprise mind blowing sex or something. The reality? I came home to a surprise puddle under my water tower. Evidently I didn't plug the leak well enough.

2. Dual Concentration. I know everyone says it and it's hardly ever as true as they think, but I'm a good multitasker. I can code one thing and think about what's coming up next, build this and think about mounting afterwords, pat my head and rub my tummy, shit like that. Well, I spend my "other" mind thinking about sex. Dreaming of it. Imagining it. Having it (in the mind's eye, of course).

Example: I'm at work doing some boring ass database schema. I'm typing things out and in the meantime I think I'm getting a blowjob in my car while I'm driving through the red-light district.

3. Silly, inexplainable injuries. This time it's a sprained finger. I don't know what I did to it, but one morning end of last week I woke up and it hurt to move it, even just a little. I don't know if I woke up in the middle of the night and slammed it against my wall or if my penis woke up and beat the shit out of it, jealous that my index finger gets all this sunlight.

Ever see the movie Slackers? This dude's penis can sing "She'll be comin' round the mountain." Then it'll make sense, dude. Trust me.

4. Thirst. I once heard someone describe a person that goes to sleep with a bottle of water next to their bed as some kind of studly stallion, as in the same kind of guy that wears a leopard print thong around the house and has mirrors above his bed. It took me a really long time to figure out WHY one would think that of someone who needs to have water next to the bed. (hint: acrobatic.) Me? I'm just thirsty. A lot. Doctor says it may be because I'm prediabetic. To that I say, "got any ice?"

I was planning to go to the strip club after work, even. I wanted to get ground on. Hard. By my favorites. It's a good thing I got paid today, though, which forced me to divert my tracks and go to the bank instead. Besides, I can't spend any money on lap dances. I've got a move to plan.

And have I mentioned I owe $1500 in taxes this year? WTF is up with that? I've got a month and a half to send off a check, so, no worries, but, still... that's a lot of money.

That's like, 60 lapdances.

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Witness my shame.

I don't think the minister-get-out-of-hell-free card is going to cover this one.

>.>

 > Link < 

State of the Onion: Next Gen Systems

Video games have come a long way. From the dedictated arcade machines that cost so much, consumed so much energy, and required so much maintenance that there was no way you could put it in a home, to the little firecrackers that idiots wait in line for days before launch day to buy.

But I foresee something bad coming down the pipe. I won't tell you yet, I'll explain how it went to get there. History first.

The video game crash of the early 80's paved the way for Nintendo to pretty much dominate the home circuit. Part of it was genius, part of it was trickery, part of it was luck. Take a very well documented, common, inexpensive, and easy to program microprocessor (Motorolla's 6502) along with a simple memory-mapped system architecture and you have something easy to make. The way it broke into the US market is not at all a result of chance.

And there were many that sought to dethrone it. NEC, Sega, Atari, to name a few. But their hardware wasn't as easy. They may have been technically superior but without the game backing they were doomed to fail.

The Sega Genesis certainly was a major force. It was in many ways just a Nintendo+. It took the a newer generation Motorolla chip (a 16-bit one) and plugged it into one-step-up hardware. Better and cleaner wave synthesis for sound and music provided by Yamaha, bigger pallettes and higher resolutions in the graphical engine, more memory. I think the Genesis just got lucky, mostly, with excellent games. Most of the Genesis hits were in-house 1st party games. The ratio of stinkers to hits though was higher than the NES in America, thanks in part to 3rd party titles that didn't suck.

I say "America." NOA was very careful about what it let hit our shelves. They kept 3rd parties on a short leash. They weren't allowed to release more than a certain quota of games in the states, so, naturally, they released the ones that would sell the best. To sidestep these, some labels made new ones for more titles, like the "Ultra" name releasing surplus Konami titles. That kind of shit would fly in Japan, but it didn't in the states. That's why Japanese dominance in hardware AND software happened... because the video game companies here were reluctant to enter such things. They had to pay a licensing fee per cartridge? They all had to be manufactured by Nintendo? They have to cover all the risks of publishing? They can't sell on contingency?

So Sega upped the ante in the hardware and Nintendo kept up fairly well but eventually had to spit out the Super Famicom to call the bet and raise it another. Another 16-bit Motorolla chip, but etched out of custom glass which restricted it in speed, a lovely sound processor from Sony, a BIGGER pallette and more memory.

Line drawn in the sand.

To keep my fingers from hurting any more than they already do (my index finger on my primary hand ACHES and ACHES and ACHES for some reason), I'll spare you the rest.

So here we are today. The line has been drawn and jumped over so many times that we've got new systems on the horizon. A decked out Xbox 360 is $400 (yes, they sell a stripped down version, but when stuff is stripped down and is not clothes nothing good can come of it). PS3 is expected to come through the gates at that price or $50 less, depending on how well Sony is doing financially to take such a loss per console sale. Yes, I have the balls to say it. Remember 360 will take a price reduction on release of the PS3.

Add a few games and an extra controller and you've surpassed $500. Why so expensive? We've come to a point where the line is being drawn and jumped so often that it's trying to exceed the natural progression of technology. If it was done at the same pace we would get more for the same price as yesterday. I think a lot of this is due to the loss of cartridges and a general loss of a design fundamental. In the NES days? A new mapping chips in the cartridge, co-processors, all sorts of goodies that supplanted the original hardware made it an amazingly successful run. You can't put new hardware on a CD. None of the pinouts of the DS slot give direct hardware access. Same for the GBA pinouts. Any additional hardware is used explicitly by code executing on the GBA processor, whereas the NES mappings were just inherant in the simpler design.

Then again, implementing those "loopholes" available in simple design in modern systems would be very difficult to keep them next-generation. Even the Passme hack for the DS still ends up being run on DS hardware. There would be no way, for instance, to add a hardware mapping chip to let the hardware all of a sudden access 32 gigabits of flash memory space (the 4 gigs, in, say, an iPod nano). It's capped at I think 4 gigabits through the addressing space allotted by the engineering spec.

It seems that the push for the latest and greatest technology is going too fast, in pursuit of the biggest WOW and OOOH and AAAH in the crowd.

Nintendo's going to try to buck the trend with Revolution. It won't cost $300. It won't have cutting edge hardware. It will have a unique input edge, sure. But, see, video games have gone mainstream. They've been that way for a while. The average gamer doesn't really care about playability or novelty or, arguably, fun. They want to crush opponents online, basically bullying rebuilt in a virtual sense because these days real life bullying gets you a shotgun blast to the face by a kid donned in black trenchcoat garb. I mean, how else can you explain Madden? Final Fantasy IX sold fewer copies than Dead or Alive 4? WHAT?!

I don't care if gaming is popular or not. I just want to play good games and not have to pay too much for garbage. Slowly gaming systems are approaching PC specs, and this is a BAD thing. Look at PC gaming. To get a perfect out-of-the-box experience, you need 2 Gigabytes of memory ($200), an AMD FX-60 ($1000), an SLI rig of two GeForce 7800 GTX's ($1000), plus hard drive, optical drive, case, motherboard, decent sound, super power supply, other incidentals (another $700). Don't forget the HD output ($1200+) And then you've got a near $4000 machine. And all that will be second string in 6 months. AND it isn't even enough to run Everquest 2 at full detail levels. It's customary for PC games to be written at levels of performance that exceed what is available to the customer because by the time they get released the hardware would have caught up.

$4000? Might as well get a CPS-3 arcade machine. They have interchangeable game cartridges too. I fear a bubble popping in the home gaming world.

When geeks ruled, things were good. Oh well.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Drama

Sorry for the drama, folks.

I know what you're all REALLY after.

The King's Gonna Get Some Tonight!

Sunday, February 19, 2006

A little message

The more you complain the longer God lets you live.

I remember for about two weeks in 1997 I had maybe 300-400 emails a day, not from spam, but from a mailing list. Basically, 500-600 people were CC'd on an email and everyone was responding to "STOP MAILING ME ABOUT THIS" or some combination of that. It was really amazing, especially since everyone that responded with "STOP" replied to ALL addresses, meaning the more we complained, the longer the emails lived on to duplicate itself over and over and over in our mailboxes.

Hold it, though, I don't think you quite understand the level of insanity involved. TWO WEEKS. 14 DAYS. 300-400 emails a day. It was going to make my head explode.

And the most memorable email from the nearly 5000 emails (I turned off my headers by default, and via dialup I always got to see the top three or four lines), the one that made me push a button to stop the automatic display:

The more you complain the longer God lets you live.

A lesson to us (me) all? Maybe.

In other news, if you ever want to ruin people's good time at Disney World and do something I think is pretty neat (only because the other people on the ride can complain and get to the front of the line and do it again), check the link.

 > Link < 

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Due to a lack of clarity...

... actually, no.

Understanding my negativity in the last post hedges on understanding the forces fighting within me at any given time.

First off, let me go on the record that, as far as Erik the Boyfriend is concerned, he doesn't really follow the Valentine's Day thing because, well, the goal is that EVERY day is Valentine's Day.

It's an odd year for me regardless. I don't really have anyone to pine over, and it's doing something to my head. Come to think of it, the only time I had any kind of "relationship" going on (or what resembles it, I won't bore you with the same old same old again), only once did it actually contain a Valentine's Day in there. Every other year there was always "Well, wouldn't it be nice if Soandsoita was interested" or "If only Whatshername wasn't with that assclown." This year? I'm just bored I guess. I had a friend-valentine but it's not the same. I mean, it's fun to think about someone and be a sneaky shifty ninja about how to do something nice for them, but it just isn't the same. It can't be the same, by definition.

But, look, let's say there there was a holiday I'll call "Degree Day" and everyone who ever graduated from college gets to participate and becomes heir to love and affection and presents and everything and everyone else, in contrast, is a loser. That wouldn't be cool, now would it? How about "Gates Day" where everone with a net worth over $1 Billion gets to party and give and get presents and celebrate how great life has been to them while everyone else? Meh.

I came home tonight to an empty house. And it felt sad. That's something I'm going to have to actually look forward to in the future, as I'm on my single bedroom quest. I had to get something from my brother's room and the room was filled - quite literally - with balloons I had to knock out of the way to grab my headphones. I don't rub people's noses in THEIR shortcomings.

In the end it's easy to redirect it towards myself. As in what's wrong with ME. Or like I'm just some kind of dancing monkey that people, sure, can appreciate and toss a nickel into the hat for, but nobody would want to take home because we all know "MONKEY HATE CLEAN."

If there was ever a time I just needed a kiss this is it. Nothing obscene, just a grab my head so I don't freak out and give a simple "you're ok" kiss. And even if I'm not ok, it's a "just feel better" moment. However you're feeling, feel better. Ever have one of those?

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Fuck Valentine's Day.

I can't claim credit for this, and you might want to bump the resolution on your monitor up, but this pretty much handles my sentinents right now.

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Sunday, February 12, 2006

Spy at one of my toys.

I've been cleaning out my closet for the move and I hit a dead end when I found one thing. I was playing with it all afternoon because I realized that I was going to have to throw it away because I just won't have the room for it. It's kind of sad, but this at least is a proper send off.

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Saturday, February 11, 2006

Evil Selling Out

Not much has been going on lately. The homefront is just that. What seems to complicate matters is that I'll be working out of Kendall "until further notice" starting Tuesday. Last time we played this game at work I was "fired" from the client within 2 weeks.

They don't necessarily get more productivity and it's a lot more costly to have one of us in their facility. Plus the timeclock they forced me to use there made me thumb my nose with the threat "oh, well, since I have to be aware of the time I'm here, there's no way I'm putting in extra hours." Yeah, maybe that's more why they didn't want me there anymore.

And the sysadmin there was trying to get details on how much I make, whether my bosses are scam artists, things like that. It made me uncomfortable, like I'm supposed to be some kind of informant or something. I stayed dignified and gave "no comment" answers. That'll do, pig.

So far, being packed with no place to go is a little weird. I was going to take a beautiful picture of a water tower my brother gave me that "leaks". I have yet to see it leak, though, and it's been running for about 4 hours now. BUT my camera ran out of batteries. Which would be fine, except I packed my NiMH battery charger. D'oh! So I could get my extra batteries which I always have except, well, they're packed too. D'oh again! There's always AC power, so I open my camera's DC-in port and reach for the AC/DC adaptor... except... yep. Arkanoid 2, Revenge of D'oh! Well, I have to offload some pictures from it (I figured you cats would like to see how my storage closet is filling up nicely). So I remove the memory card, plug it into my reader... wait... my reader is packed. D'oh-nuts.

In the meantime, I've discovered I've got a rootkit on my machine. To what end, I do not know. I see ONE symptom but it needs a lot of work (by hand) to find these things and get them out.

Most of the blame is the fault of the people who write the scumware and provide incentives to secretly install it on people's computers, but don't forget the blame on the web publishers that actually participate in these kickbacks.

How much do you get sold out for? Well, take a look at the link and see for yourself. Earn as much as 40 CENTS per person's computer you fuck over.

Please add "zangocash.com" to your hosts file and point it at least to 127.0.0.1. I did, and the fact that I can't see that site is both of little loss and of great reward. Google around, your hosts file is your friend.

 > Link < 

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

OMG

Best. Gift. Ever.



Su made me a shirt like that. This shirt she made was a gift for me. It is in my possession. It fits. (well, I could stand to lose a pound or twelve.) I must have hugged her like 8 or 9 times tonight as a result, instead of a normal 2 or 3.

She's so sweet! <3

And my brother got me the Legend of Zelda TV series. I'm very :O about it. Unfortunately I don't have much time to watch these days with all my troubles. Hell, I've still got Azumanga Daioh from Greencine to watch and copy.

On the other family front, my mother gave me a present and a cake. I turned both away. I told them it comes with a catch and that I don't trust anything she hands me. I wonder if I made her cry. I wonder if my making her cry will make her realize how much of a bitch she's been all of a sudden for no reason whatsoever.

Oh well. GOLDFISH SHIRT!!!

Yep yep

Happy birthday to me!

Please remember to shower me with love and affection... or I will SHOOT THE BUNNY!

Not much to say. Our family usually celebrates birthdays and holidays on the closest weekend because our schedules never match. The past weekend was it. My mother, in what seemed to be an attempt to make a truce, offerred to take me out for dinner and asked me not to make any plans on Sunday. I didn't, and it turns out they weren't going to do anything for me. It took my brother to actually take me out and not make me want to kill everyone who shares blood with me.

That's worse than them having forgotten. But I don't blame them. If they don't see be as their child, then I have no family other than my brother. Happens all the time I guess. I just hope I don't come home to changed locks before I can finish finding a place to live.

And it can't suck, ok? I have no intention of moving twice in a year.

Oh well. Wah wah wah. I could mope about it all the time, or I could just get on with my life. I choose the latter.

Going on with my life! Wooo! LETS GO!

...

It's 12:30. Fuck, dude, I gotta get some sleep.

...

But, dang, one more game...

 > Link < 

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Blarg

Blarg. Rent is expensive.

DEAL-O'-THE-DAY
460 sqft 1/1... $750/mo.!

Yeesh. Fuck me with a chainsaw, please.

I didn't even get to see anything. I was on the phone making at least one appointment and with a noisy Diana next to me the lady on the phone said, "Who is that? Your girlfriend? Because if she's going to live there too, the rent is going to be higher."

Bitch. So I suppose if I get a raise my rent will go up more? How about if I like watching Nip / Tuck. Does that entitle you to squeeze me for a little more?

So I've got a buddy who lives in West Palm Beach. He moved in with his girlfriend and another friend and they got a swank apartment. He and his girlfriend were in love and engaged, so it was ok. THEN she totally flaked on him and ran off, leaving my friend and his friend left to pay rent they couldn't afford.

Which just further proves my theory that Germans love David Hasselhoff.

...

Meh, it's funnier when Norm says it.

I *DID* have a lovely time at the ol' strip club yesterday night. Di treated me for my b-day (it's not 'till Tuesday, don't panic yo). Damage done? About $100. Oops. I didn't TOTALLY rape her. At least I got my own lapdances. They were GOOOOOOOD.

I highly recommend everyone have at least ONE lap dance in their lives. Girls, please learn this very wonderful skill if you have problems with your man getting one from someone else. And, hell, get one yourself, too. :D They usually do more for girls than they do for boys anyway. Because life is unfair.

Speaking of unfair, I got some games I ordered like two months ago. :/ Sometimes it's worth the $3 for shipping, folks. Anyway, I got Advance Wars DS and Castlevania Dawn of Sorrow. I was planning to be done with Dragon Quest 8 but this moving stuff got in the way. I'm officially game backlogged. Which is too bad because I'm really excited about the upcoming Super Princess Peach. And by excited I mean HARD. No, wait, not really. Only when she's in doujinshi.

Ah well. Hopefully I'll have better apartment searches tomorrow.