Zen

You know the saying that nobody can hurt you more than the ones you love?

Simple solution that has evaded me: just stop loving. Now they're strangers doing hurtful things. And there isn't anything a stranger could do to alter my mood.

Ahhhh... so much better, yes?

Up on the chopping block: Interviews. Lots of them. Monday and Wednesday of next week. It's GO time, I think.

Today's "FUCKING LIARS" section: when I showed my face at the unemployment office they made a big whirlygig about free education you qualify for since you're on unemployment. I asked if I could get my MCSD (which is like THE Microsoft programmer certification) and they said "sure". I did all the paperwork last week, signing my name so many times I was like a rock star signing autographs. And, wouldn't you know it, it turns out I qualify, but not 100% like they insinuated.

I need to pay like $300 to enroll. Ordinarily, $300 for that kind of certification is a DEAL. BUT when you're not working, $300 is a lot. That's a car payment. My TV is like a kaleidoscope of colors lately: displaying in red sometime, sometime normal, sometime green, sometime blue. I need a new one but even buying a shitty TV will break me financially. I also need a new monitor: mine can't display refresh rates above 60Hz anymore. Well, it can, but it screams a high pitched scream loud enough to nearly deafen me and any neighborhood dogs (nobody else can hear it I've learned). It sucks because my eyes are sensitive to low refresh rates when paired with high speed phosphors (exactly like a monitor) so I am popping advil at least 3 times a week due to headaches. But I can't even buy a Shitty McShit brand monitor because it WILL break me. My speakers don't output on the right channel. SPEAKERS WILL BREAK ME. Any expense of money not directly related to living and breathing and eating will break me at this point. $300 is a great deal and a fantastic investment in my future, but, well, there you go.

When you're broke, any amount is expensive. What gets me upset is that they made a big song and dance like an infomercial: "YES YOU can enroll for CERTIFICATIONS and HIGHER LEARNING to GET YOU that HIGH POWERED HIGH PAYING JOB!!!" And this is supposed to be GOVERNMENT FUNDED training.

...

Wait, what? Government lies to you?

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