Hating

You know the expression "if it's too good to be true it probably is?"

That free MCSD cert is shit, yo. I've complained to every ear I could get a hold of multiple multiple times already so I won't bore you any more with it.

I just hate it and it's KILLING MY SOUL.

ARG.

Also, feel free to respond anonymous if you wish, do I not play well with others? ><

There's also the stress about Mel's wedding next weekend. As it approaches the more and more I wish I didn't have to go. I RSVP'd so I have to. And it's not that I don't want to go because I don't care about her, I don't want to go because it's a bother and it's not even for that long a visit and I'm going to meet a bunch of her friends and they're probably not going to like me.

I don't know what it is, but I'm pretty uncomfortable meeting people in places that I'm not used to. It happened in California, it happens up north, it happens lots of places. I'm sure there's a psychological reason for it and it's referenced in Art of War or what have you but why bother getting into WHY? It is what it is.

Ah, who am I kidding, even if it was going on down here I wouldn't want to meet 100 new people at one shot. Geez, it'd take forever to impregnate them all!

Remember, bukkake is how the Japanese say hello over there.

Anyway, it's also a long drive. I considered flying but I ruled it out because of the possibility of not having a good time and wanting to come back early.

...

Plus there are Hardee's on the way. Heh heh heh.

Anyway, if this sounds convoluted it's because within the last 15 minutes I became unbelievably drowsy and I don't know why. Hmm.

I used to have a friend that whenever I would ask "why" anything, she would respond with "that's probably due to all that sex you've been having." So, I hereby adopt that explanation for everything.

XD

P.S. Check out my pictures in Myspace. Got a quicky with Hilary Clinton. :O

Loss of a Titan

There are a few things I take seriously in life. A few. One of them, for a while, was Boston Market.

THAT was a hell of a place to eat. Home-cookin'. Ham, Turkey, chicken, but, hell, everyone does chicken. Fixin's! Mashed Topatoes (I know it's "potatoes." Fuck you, I'm an author, I type what I want), stuffing, macaroni and cheese, sweet potatoes ("topatoes" doesn't work here), lots of veggies, lovely cornbread. And the carver sandwiches. Those things were SO good.

The King Club sandwich. I remember it like I remember my first Big Mac, like I remember my first drive, like I remember my first kiss. All things I liked, except I regret my first kiss. :P

It was ham, turkey, cheese, lettuce, tomato, and a delicious sauce on white or wheat bread. Mother fuckin' good, yo. This was, ahhh... over 10 years ago. 1995.

Fast forward to today. I got a sandwich that was sad. It was "toasted", and by that, they mean they just burned the bread. They don't have ham anymore. They. Just. Don't. Make. It. No choice of bread. No tomato. Comes with a side.

I like sides. Got the stuffing. I love stuffing. What I got? It wasn't stuffing. It was putrid and cold and just like a huddled mass, afraid of the real world outside the steam-heated pan.

In the end, I was out nearly $7 for a sad, pathetic descendant of the once great King Club.

The sandwich was sad. And, through that sandwich, I became sad.

The Most Important Flash Ever

This is perhaps the most brilliant thing I've seem in a while. Really. Please watch it.

I know SOME of you out there will see maybe 15 seconds of it and close the window in disgust. Remember that which does not kill you only makes you stronger.

You don't have to enjoy it. You simply have to endure it. Your mind will then become free.
 

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Lack of Retraction

I'd like to reiterate that a dream doesn't mean anything. As sensory input and waking mental activity diminish, the brain has to find something to do. Think of it as an idle loop.

Dreams are an amalgam of memories and imagination. They do not represent predictions of the future. They do not, by themselves, represent your innermost desires. Unless, of course, you desire it anyway.

So, if you've been consciously trying to convince yourself that you don't, don't feel guilty that you had dreams about me, ladies. XD
 

Nekkid Time

So the other day I got into a discussion where cat assholes were a brief topic of conversation. Don't ask, it's far less interesting than you think.

And I got to thinking... what IS is about nudity that's so forbidden? Seriously.

I mean, everyone's got naughty bits. And I guess by referring them as "naughty" bits I'm buying into it, huh? Not at all. I'd rather not just rattle off a list of the forbidden. But they're there. There are men and there are women. Men have abc and women have xyz. It is what it is.

Why sit around and pretend we don't have those things?

The old testament tells the story of Adam and Eve (yeah, you can cut out rolling your eyes... just keep reading, fucko). God made them and things were koo until those two crazy kids ate the forbidden fruit of the tree of knowledge. Then they felt shame and tried to cover their naked bodies. God paid them a peekaboo visit and was pissed, boy howdy. God made us in His image and it was lacking shame of our bodies.

Now, believe in it what you will. Science for clothing? Warmth and protection. That's it. Sometimes both are not required. A comfortable temperature in a safe environment happens a lot. The weather is nice. No bugs around. Nobody's frying up bacon. No sandstorms. Nothing drippy drippy or bleedy bleedy. Hell, now there's no purpose.

Oh, right. Sex. Uh huh. Because nobody could EVER see a naked person of the appropriate sex for their interest and NOT immediately tackle them for fucking. I sure know that every time I take a trip to the strip club I just whip out my cock and spooge all over everyone with so much as a single exposed nipple. Hell, when I strip down in front of the Doctor I immediately get hard and start humping the examination table.

Lets. Get. Real. And you know what? Stuff happens. Erections happen. Moisture happens. It's not really all that important. You know all those rape fantasy stories where they go "you say no, but your body says yes"? It's a STORY. It's FAKE. What kind of bullshit would that be? The body is hard wired in that area. Thankfully the brain is soft wired and WE have control.

I don't know. Society seems really scared of this sort of thing and sometimes I feel embarrassed being a human along with all the rest of ya.

Doki Doki Majo Saiban

Oh yes... you'd better believe it. It's not going to be as raunchy as some with photoshop skills implied, but it's still going to be a very "hee hee hee" kind of thing.

See y'all in one month. XD

---

Disclaimers: Pedophile? NOT IT.

Right now the creepiest game in my DS collection is Cooking Mama. Creepy as in gay creepy. I'll take pedo creepy over gay creepy anyday.

Creepiest Game List (well, from the games I own):
NES: Taboo... the Tarot card game! :P
Game Boy: That second copy of Tetris.
Genesis: Super Baseball 2020. A sports game?! THAT I LIKE?!?! (female baseball player's got big bewbs, huh huh huh)
SNES: Actraiser 2... take everything you like about Actraiser and remove it from the game! Uh, yeah. Also, replace the hero with something more at home in Cho Aniki.
PSX: Tobal No. 1. It's my PS2 HDD boot disc. (It also came with a k-rad FFVII preview)
PS2: Rumble Roses. Yeah.
GBA: Lunar. I got it on PSX. D:
Gamecube: The second Zelda port disc. One's got Ocarina & Master Quest, the other's got Ocarina, Mask, and the original NES game. :F
PC: Too many fucked up games to state them all!
 

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