IT'S HERE

Well, sort of. I gotta run out to the post office and pick it up. If my lazy vacationing goober-of-parents would have opened the door for the mailman I would have had it a full 3 days in advance of street date. (I simply must remember to import from Play-Asia again in the future... maybe I should join their affiliate program and trick convince my friends to buy from there.) Meanwhile I've got to lie, cheat, and steal my way out of work to do the deed.

What am I talking about?

DUH

In other news, there is no other news.

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Corrections and Apologies

• In this post back in late May I suggested that MCSD is killing my soul. Well, it's killing something alright: my will to finish it. My correction is that, as a minister, I should know that a soul is eternal. Sorry folks... 40 whacks with a wet noodle for me.


• In this post also from May, I used an awkward sentence structure at the end of the post: "So, if you've been consciously trying to convince yourself that you don't, don't feel guilty that you had dreams about me, ladies. XD" As it turns out, that was me trying to overly manipulate a sentence to achieve maximum Funny. Generally, for comedy writing, your punchline should be as close to the end of a sentence in a block of speech or text as possible. I won't go into WHY (maybe some other time), but I did it badly. The sentence was then confusing and didn't flow well at all. Henceforth: I hereby apologize to women everywhere for being so damn sexy.

(See? Told you the end is the best place for the punchline. Since I'm mostly self-taught in comedy writing, I've call it a "pivot" but no more posts about writing today.)
 

• Way back in December of '05 I made a speech claiming that the Holocaust is a myth. In no way did I mean to belittle the death of six-million Jews world-wide at the hands of the Nazi regime. It was all just a big misunderstanding. I was to give a speech about kittens but some joker replaced it. The crowd's reaction, though, was so awesome I just ran with it. I hope you all understand.