Humor

It's occurred to me that some people might need cheering up. So, here are my three favorite misogynistic jokes.

Oh, and, if you know me, you know that, seriously, I don't hate women at all. I love them. Very very much. But, you know, comedy is comedy. It's not that there's nothing I wouldn't do for a laugh, it's just that a laugh can do so much to make people feel better.

Joke 1:
A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, "Get me a beer before it starts!"
The wife sighs and gets him a beer.
Ten minutes later, he says, "Get me another beer before it starts!"
She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him. He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, "Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute!"
The wife is furious. She yells at him "Is that all you're going to do tonight! Drink beer and sit in front of that TV! You're nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore..."
The man sighs and says, "It's started..."

Joke 2:
A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of their first stops was the breeding bull exhibit. They went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, "See, he mated 50 times last year, once-a-week."
They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, "This bull mated 120 times last year." The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said, "That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."
They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife, so excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband's ribs, said, "That's once-a-DAY. You could REALLY learn something from this one."
The husband looked at her and said, "Go over and ask him if it was with the same cow."

NOTE: The husband's condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and the doctors say after two months of rehab and a couple more surgeries he will most likely be okay.

Joke 3:
Q. How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. THAT'S NOT FUNNY!