Oops.

Oops. Took a nap at around 8:15pm tonight in my car. Crash from the down side of Dayquil. I forgot why I don't like taking medicines: because sometimes I get very sensitive to some of the ingredients. This time I think it was sugar, I sufferred symptoms similar to a sugar crash.

So I woke up a bit later and went home. Now I'm not sleepy at all. Well damn.

After hearing rumors and hearing rumors dispelled and all sorts of drama going on around me, I have to look somewhere. And today, I look within.

One thing I can most certainly say I've never wondered before is if people thought about me. I always assumed "no" and that was that. As strange as it sounds, whenever someone thinks about me with a call or a gift or whatever I'm always caught by surprise. So evidently I'm wrong.

Tonight I wonder if there are any rumors going around about me. And, what they are. One can't really guess on their own. But I imagine one would be that I'm a closed off and unapproachable person. Which isn't entirely accurate, although I do not expose my inner workings very easily. It's a miracola that I do at all. I'm fairly shy. What I dreamed in the car was slightly relevant to why I wondered the next part, but I'll save that for later. I wonder what the girls there think of me? Creepy guy? Dork? Wouldn't touch him with asbestos gloves? It would be so neat if someone had a crush on me. Nobody does, even though I would love to be proven wrong.

I dreamed that I had just woken up in my bed. Not startled awake by anything, not a bad dream. I just opened my eyes and I was wide awake, not like the troll I normally wake up as. I sat up and rested my upper back against the headboard. At that time I hear footsteps approaching, but I'm not supposed to be hearing them. I recognize that I shouldn't be able to hear little pat-pat-pat of a barefoot individual behind my door, but I do anyway.

It was one of Lisa's friends. She was always so nice to me. She would always hug me and she would smile at me in a nice way. I would confide in her (among some others) my insecurities and she would always say something nice and, if she couldn't, she would do something to take my mind off things. She bit my elbow once, you know.

Anyway, she came in naked. I didn't really see it, all I saw was the silouette of her body. I knew it was her, though. They say good character design is when you can draw the silouette of the character and it's immediately obvious who it is. I guess you could say that she's got good character design, if she was a character.

She sat down forward on my bed next to me and I could barely make out her face. I felt her breath against my cheek as she whispered for me to shush. She touched me gently and nibbled on my ear.

I love my friends. I'm the type that can fall in love with people super easy when I open up and lower my guard. I'm a firm believer that proximity and familiarity breeds love. And I've never been convinced that love-in-first-sight is possible, nor that bars or blind dating is the way to meet a good lover. I put my stock in that the best significant others one finds in life start as friends. There is a rule, though. I don't open myself to the point where I can fall in love with someone in that way unless I know it'll be worth it. Unrequited love is just annoying and pathetic. If you don't believe me, check out the show history for Howard Stern... follow the link and check out "Turns out date rape is illegal..." heading and below.

So, yes, if I wasn't all amuddle from Lisa, I could have seen myself extremely attracted to Kristy. Although I don't think she would have been into me, it would have been intereting to see how things would have gone.

She stroked me and I started to get up so I could kiss back and she just kept her hand exerting firm pressure on my chest. She slipped under my covers and mounted me. I tried to sit up to embrace her, but she leaned down to keep my body down with hers. She pressed against me and it felt good. Real good. I felt her warmth and heat against my body, rhythm in the lower regions, and the whisping sheets as the motions drew in and out ambient air.

While it was going on and she was getting off, I noticed another figure come in. It was Lisa. Well, her nude figure anyway. She quietly went and sat in the chair in the corner. Street lamp light flowed in from the window and illuminated her face as she sat there, leaning forward, hands intertwined at the fingers, pointers and thumbs covering her mouth, staring intently.

We came, and she popped off me and gave out a "whew". She said if only she knew how nice my thing felt inside her she would have done me sooner. She motioned towards Lisa and said "Girl, you've GOT to try him!"

I sat up and tried to get up out of bed when all of a sudden I felt really bashful. I was still really hard. I dove back under the covers and looked. Another one of her friends, Vicky, came in. Again, nude, siloutte. She was a little more forward. She asked me to do her. "Won't you?" she asked. "Don't you like me?" she said.

Vicky, on the other hand, was always a little cold towards me. She never really had anything interesting to say. At least in conversation with me. Although it was so long ago I don't know if it was because she is as closed off as I am in the beginning or if she just didn't like me at all. The only thing she had going for her, as far as my attaction towards her (as if that means anything) is her height. I love love love love love short girls.

I look towards Lisa. She's still sitting there. She leans back, puts her hands on her legs, and sits there. Legs not crossed, but not spread either. Vicky curls up behind me and squirrels into a position on my pillow. She claws at my back lightly, cooing and urging me to get going. I turn around and start doing my thing. I'm slow and deliberate at first, but I speed up in time. She's really loud, unlike Kristy. I started to look at her, but felt I couldn't. So I looked down on her breasts, watching them bounce with each thrust. That too, however, I couldn't look at for too long. I just closed my eyes and buried my face in her neck, licking it. I heard her moans out of one of my ears and I felt her legs wrap around my waist and grip me. I kept thrusting higher and felt her lower body lift off while my arms hooked under hers and pushed forward to keep grounded. She came, squeezed very tightly, and I delved deeply and came as well.

I went down on the bed next to Vicky and layed there. She weakly let out a "you were right" towards Kristy, who at that point was kneeling on the floor to the side of the bed.

Lisa still sat there. She stood up, and then I woke up for real.

Dream Kristy and Dream Vicky had a thing for me, but didn't do anything about it. They provided no signals, no intentions. Vicky wasn't even nice to me most of the time. But they held a secret. Was it in my interest to keep it? Was it because they were embarassed because I don't fit the mold of someone to lust over?

So, even if there are potential rumors and girl-talk about me, I doubt it would really go far. If someone does like me, I doubt they would ever be caught dead admitting it. And it's a shame.

...

Because of those that have had me in any extent, they've always been pleasantly surprised. Not trying to sell myself here. Ok, just a little. Looks like you caught me. Oops.

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