Long time

I havn't done this in a long time. My tarot reading! The first one in a long time that doesn't suggest anything having to do with women.

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Umm...

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(I'm so horny right now that, if I actually had sex right now, my orgasm would burst through the condom and burn a tunnel out the middle of her back)

how you feel about yourself now (Justice)
You are feeling that things will go your way, you believe in fairness and justice in all things. If you are considering partnership issues, personal or professional, dealings will go well. Perhaps you are about to sign a contract or legal document, this will be beneficial to you. If someone has done wrong to you it will be put right and you will feel justice has been done.

what you most want at this moment (The Chariot)
The cards suggest Erik, that what you most want at this time is success, to win and not give up the fight. You are successful and assertive in most things, or if you haven’t quite got the success you want, you will get it. This is a time of movement and change - expect a journey relating to work, or if you want that car you’ve been looking at, go get it.

your fears (The Hierophant)
Are you really your best counsel? Probably not at this moment in time. You are worried that you will sell yourself short and agree to something that you don’t feel morally comfortable with. For example you may really desire marriage but the offer has been ‘let’s live together’. You may be looking at a job or business opportunity but you question how ethical it is. Seek out an advisor you can trust such as a teacher, priest, parent or anyone you have respect for. They will be happy to help.

what is going for you (The High Priestess)
All lines are open in your telephone exchange with your intuition, and there is no better guide than your intuition. Listen, listen carefully and the secret you want revealed will be shared with you.

what is going against you (Strength)
Your negativity and lack of self control are your real enemies. If you are finding certain addictions in your life are taking a hold, be it smoking or drinking for example, look inward for you hearts true strength and self-belief. Change your attitude and be positive and you will reap great rewards.

outcome (The Hermit)
This is a time for you to be alone or may herald a time of loneliness. Take this time for quiet introspection and rest. Don’t worry you will find the answers, but the Hermit signals a warning not to make hasty decisions. If you have been unwell this is a time for rest and recuperation.

:O